Employment
Vice Soap wants to work you like a prosthetic leg in a German sex club
We need little bitches for:
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social media marketing
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creative thinking
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small penis/Trudeau jokes
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search engine optimization
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video and editing
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irreverent comebacks
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packaging, shipping and logistics
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copywriting
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brake line cutting
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coding website design
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listening and following directions
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or any combination thereof
You must be the one percent that works slower, for less, sleeps in till noon, fanatically non-committal, sell your mother for a bus ticket, loyal till the last beer, dtail riented, annoying, and able to make shit happen!
We only want the laziest of the lazy dregs of society... the ones who can't find their ass with either hand... the poster child for the classic screen door on a submarine... the hind tit on the bull... the glassy eyed mouth breathers who are going to polish this dolphin until parents around the globe have named every one of their children after us!
All nuggets must survive the 90 day "evaluation" period... NO EXCEPTIONS!